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I tried to stand on a phantom limb, now I'm all alone in the dirt again. I need more legs to stand on, I've been tearing limb from limb. I reached my hands into the water & it pulled me right in. There is no lady of the lake, no good or evil small or great. There's just one shade of grey. Don't look away, learn something. So string me up or cut me down, it's not enough. I'm on the wrong side of things, just how it always is. What fucking good's it been? I know how this always ends. My bones will break down on me, my lungs will quit like they've always dreamed, and my muscles -- how the used to push & pull -- will all melt into my skin. I will not come up for air, I will not see you there. I'm all right where I am -- god dammit I can be a man.
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2. |
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There's something between us now, brother. We're going down. There's something between us now, brother. Let's talk it out. I remember on the fourth of july we'd navigate to the cemetery that overlooked the city & we'd watch from afar the illuminated valley & wonder how we'd leave. I remember all our talks, how we missed the point, two fucking gnats on to the next rat, on to the next rat, on to the next rat as if size matters when you're just sucking blood. I don't think it does. How many days can you wake up holding your head in san francisco wondering why you left if this is what you get? More broken promises while you're choking down ash from cigarettes you let them tap out on your head? It's such bullshit. No brother of mine is gonna go down without a fight & no brother of mine would be talking like you're talking tonight. I'm afraid I'm gonna lose you. I'm afraid I already have. Because brother, I love you & I don't wanna watch you go. Brother, I miss you so tell me you're coming home. You should see you in my dreams, you're always grinding your teeth. You've been wearing them down until the crowns are bleeding out & I think I'm trying to tell me to tell you something.
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3. |
Keep Running
03:37
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4. |
I'd Rather Fade Away
02:27
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5. |
From Athens
03:12
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Well, I am pretty heavy as a dead weight so if I am gonna come back alive I'll do it on my own two feet. I can't shake this feeling of dissatisfaction that flows through my veins, until it gets to my heart & just when I've stamped it out it picks up a charge & starts up all over again. I can't tell you how far I've walked looking for happiness -- but you should know I crossed a country. I put down roots. I don't know if I'll return but there are things there I miss, and I don't know if I'm home now or just somewhere a little more attractive to my masochistic bent. But god! I like it here. It'll take more than you to take me back. As my ties have cut me so I have cut my ties but I'm still burdened by the loose ends & the threads I kept around. A thousand miles is a long line: pull, and I swear to god it's gonna break & where will we be then? Whoever's in the maze will be lost for sure & never be seen nor heard from again. Theseus laid better plans than you or I. Theseus knew kinder gods than you or I. So leave me my guide -- if I ever come back I'll be right on time. You can trust these feet of mine. It'll take more than you to take me back. It's for the better, I promise & I'm sorry.
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6. |
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I am pretty sure that we're gonna live forever & we'll walk side by side through magnificent halls teeming with life stretched across the sky between cities full of light. I believe that this summer will never end & I believe we can go on just like this for good or for better or for worse, and we will never change. Yeah, we can never change. Can we always remember the good times? I think we should always remember the good times. And I know your disease will be cured soon & I'll come home, it'll just be me & you just like old times. So we won't need to speak to know which steps to take that we might stay together. But I know full well I'm a liar when I talk to myself when the truth is I'm leaving California forever. We'll talk every few months just to say we're keeping up. If I see you once a year we'll pretend it's enough but if this is our new normal we're both fucked. But everything is normal -- we are lost.
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7. |
Climbing Beacon Hill
06:16
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Canaries would die to make it here, to feel this breeze, to taste this air. Into the void. Lionel Terray was never home, his wife and child left to sing lonely songs: "Exploration's come to take you away. Is it your mark or ours on that stony face? Atop the Vercors it's just you and the wolves & you'll never come home to me". Progress is made, our bodies destroyed. My eyes grow dim after months on end of no oxygen. Altitude sick, cutting free, I can't see.
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Darn Coyotes Boston, Massachusetts
Actual coyotes playing real instruments!
Please don't call animal control, we broke edge but we still don't like tranqs
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